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This month is breast cancer awareness month and Ortiz MMA
and is proud to sponsor pink GI for sale. The GI will be sold at the Ortiz MMA
location in Riverfalls. If you want to order a GI but don't live near the area
contact us on Facebook. The GI is Also available in a white base with the pink
ribbon for those who think that pink to girly. We, just you show your support
for our campaign. All the proceedings will go to the American Cancer
Association to assist them further research in combating breast cancer.
The sale will run from today (Friday Oct 21, 2016) all the way the end of the month. Get your Gi before the date. if we run out of Gis, we will get you one as soon as we can.
If you have a relative that suffers from breast cancer,
please let us know so we can show our support. We will send out a hand-written
letter by yours truly along with other surprise goodies in a free of charge,
care package to show you that here at Ortiz MMA, when we say we are a family,
we mean it. Please let us know in advance so we can prepare an exact number of
goodies to fulfill every order. We hope you can help us out in our campaign to
help those who suffer from breast cancer.
I really like the pink GI's, they're really cool. A few things to fix is make sure you are consistent. Is it suppose to be GI or Gi because you have it spelled out both ways. In the first paragraph the sentence "We, just you show your..." should be worded differently because it doesn't make sense. Also the word if in the second paragraph should be capitalized. Other than a few little changes it looks good.
ReplyDeleteAlso when you say contact us on Facebook, you should have a link right there. Make it easy for your customers so more people click on it.
DeleteGood job Juan. Naddy gave excellent feedback. In addition to her citings, headings always have the first letter of each word capitalized. Spell out dates and use proper punctuation. There is an extra space between paragraphs.
ReplyDelete